Albert Jaquier gave Scientology his all, and Scientology
repaid him by leaving him to spend his last days alone, in ill-health, poverty
and despair.
Date: Wed, 11 September 1996 23:31:00 -0400
From: ARIANE JACKSON
<106231.2751@compuserve.com>
Subject: DIARY OF A DYING SCIENTOLOGIST
OT7
Message-ID: <199609112331_MC1-979-F0AE@compuserve.com>
This article contains excerpts from the diary of my ex-husband, ALBERT
JAQUIER. These entries are from 1994, the last year of his life. He died on
December 11, 1994. He was 59 years old when he wrote these entries. He had
completed OT7, which promises to make a person "Cause over life", he had been in
the Scientology cult for 14 years, and had given his fortune of several million
dollars. He had a heart condition, was physically incapable of working, and had
had a stroke at the end of 1992. Shortly before his death he told me he did not
think he would live very long and made me promise I would make his experiences
publicly known so that others would not have to suffer in the same way. The
original entries are in French, which I have translated. My explanations of his
shorthand, and identification of the names involved, are in parentheses. While
reading this it should be borne in mind that the picture here is of a man who
had been pushed way beyond the limits of what anyone should be asked to suffer.
It would be a great disservice to his memory if I did not indicate that, prior
to losing his health, Albert had worked, and he routinely worked 16 and 18 hour
days, seven days a week. That was how he had gotten from being a junkyard
laborer to a self-made millionaire pre-Scientology. If he had been physically
capable of working he would have tried to recover from or prevent his financial
ruin. He was a warm-hearted and generous man, the proof is he LOANED over
$1,000,000 to 11 Scientologists, without collateral, on the recommendations of
other Scientologists and, at the time of his death, only one of them had repaid
him.
The Scientologists who did not repay Albert, and the amounts he calculated
they owed as of May 1994, are as follows:
Amount owed as of May '94
-
CHRISTIAN BÖSIGER OT8
$ 33,940
- JODY DARLING OT7,PATRON MERITORIOUS
$304,564
- CHRISTIAN DELALEZE, SEA ORG MEMBER
$ 12,120
?
- LABRE, CLEAR
$ 9,131
?
- PESCE
$ 731
- BERNARD PICHON, CLEAR
$ 41,587
- CLAUDE-ANDRE QUENNOZ, CLEAR
$ 32,859
-
RENALD RACINE, ON OT7
$ 8,891
- HANS-KASPAR RHYNER, OT5, PATRON MERITORIOUS
$344,028
- GIGI TROGLIO, OT7
$ 46,062
Here are his diary entries:
December 27, 1993
The evening of the
25th,Party organised by Michele (daughter of Albert by his 1st wife) Ariane (me)
and Alex (my husband), Cyril (Albert's son by his second marriage, a
Scientologist who STOLE almost all of the estate of Albert after his death) and
Alex(another Alex, a friend of Cyril). Jacinthe (former girlfriend of Albert)
and Michele. Michael (Albert's and my son) and Albert. Very good evening.
December 31
No money, admin problems
January 2, 1994
Went to flea market with
Michele and Cyril. Bought clothes for Michael.
January 1
Phoned Baer (Edwin Baer, a delinquent
debtor, Scientologist, owing Albert $150,000 + interest who eventually paid but
refused to pay the $40,000 interest) Ruth (Baer's wife) answered, long
communication not very nice. I want to ask my refund from IAS. Brought the Jeep
to the dealer to try to trade it for something with lower payments.
January 13,
I am very irritable. My body
and joints are very painful.
January 14
Long talk with Cyril, no
explanation and no respect. Took possession of my new car a Chevrolet Lumina.
January 19
KR (Knowledge
Report.Scientologists are ordered to write reports on ALL "outnesses" they
observe in other Scientologists and send these reports to the "Ethics Section")
on Jody Darling (another delinquent debtor, Scientologist, who did not repay
over $300,000), still no news. Still the same money problems.
January 23
Wrote to all my debtors.
January 25
Did not sleep.
January 27
Did not sleep. Went to see Andy
(Andy Stilhard, staff member at Flag Service Organization, Inc.) about debtors.
January 28
Sick.
January 29
Sick, in bed. Passing blood
January 30
Sick. Passing blood
January 31
Sick. Passing blood.
February 1
Sick. Passing blood. Wrote to
IAS for refunds of Patron Meritorious ( a "status" achieved by paying $250,000
to the International Association of Scientologists) of Jody Darling, Hans-Kaspar
Rhyner ( another delinquent debtor, Scientologist, who did not repay over
$300,000) and Edwin Baer.
February 2
Sick. Passing blood.
February 3
Sick. Passing blood
February 4
Sick. Passing blood
February 5
Sick. Passing blood.
February 8
KR (Knoledge
Report) on Hans-Kaspar Rhyner.
January 14
Slept all afternoon, no courage.
No news from IAS or from Baer, just from Rhyner.
January 16
Fax to Jody. Problems with
money.
January 17
Communication with IAS no
result. What can I do.
January 18
Fax from Edwin, he has no money.
Fax Jody KR. Fax IAS.
January 20
Sat evening, sad, I have no
goal, unhappy.
January 25
Discussion with Chaplain (the
staff member at Flag who is supposed to resolve conflicts between Scientologists
because it is forbidden for a Scientologist to take a lawyer against another
Scientologist) the cycle (Scientologese for action) does not go. I am bored,
alone, sad.
January 26
Deep depression. Can't take any
more.
January 27
Interview with Jeanne D'Arc (
staff at Flag).
Mars 1
Fax to Chaplain. Serious problems
with Jones St (a property he owned). Decided to let it be repossessed.
Mars 12
Went to bed early very tired.
Mars 14
Went to notary to sign for
repossession of Jones St. Called Chaplain-- busy, called E/O ("Ethics Officer",
staff who is supposed to ensure that Scientologists are "ethical" as defined by
Hubbard)-- busy. Sad, no more courage, headache.
Mars 15
Letter to Chaplain, to IAS, to MAA
(Master-at-Arms, same as E/O), to C/S (Case Supervisor, staff responsible for
ordering what type of "auditing" is to be done on someone). Totally depressed.
Mars 16
Am very anxious regarding money,
visa (immigration visa, he was Swiss), health.
Mars 17
Cannot sleep, anxious. Listening to
Ron's (L. Ron Hubbard) tapes to try and get out of this hell.
Mars 20
In bed almost all day tired,
problems.
Mars 21
In bed almost all day, headache.
Mars 22
Only interest of Cyril is to change
cars, does not care about the future, just the present. He is selfish and
egotistical. I argue with him, he is very negative. Called his mother, I want
him to return to Switzerland.
Mars 23
Chaplain regarding Baer's fax.
Mars 25
Sad, depressed, crying. Cyril is in
Key West with my car.
Mars 26
Deep depression.
Mars 27
Depression, depression, death, I do
not know what the future will be. This month I lost Jones St, no money, Cyril
not working.
Mars 28
Fax to Baer and to Chaplain--no
answer.
April 4
Cyril has a new car.
April 9
Fight with Cyril.
April 14
Low morale, stuck.
April 16
Depression, no money.
April 18
Letter from Renald (Renald Racine,
delinquent Scientology debtor who did not pay $6,000), disgusting, saddens me.
Is he crazy? Took it to Cosima (an E/O at Flag). Angry about IAS. Criticised by
IAS staff who told me it was not OK for me to ask for a refund.
April 19
Depression. Spoke to Cyril,
everything is falling apart. I am sad and very disappointed.
April 20
All day in bed, depression, no
product, a hell, strange story.
April 23
Fax from Darling, 1.1 (1.1 is a
Scientology description of the emotional level of a person, 1.1 is "covertly
hostile", a low level meaning the person hates you but hides it).
April 30
Very tired, very tired.
May 2
Ariane paid $650 for Michael's
school.
May 3
Michael is sick. I am sad, no money.
Ariane brought milk and fruit for Michael, thankyou. Christian Boesiger (yet
another delinquent Scientology debtor who did not repay over $33,000) no news.
This chaplain cycle is punishing me.
May 4
Chaplain Court (Scientology "court
action" supposed to resolve conflicts between Scientologists). Rhyner offered
$200,000--no interest, so I lose the interest ??
May 5
No Jody, no Chaplain Court.
May 6
Chaplain cycle very bad, they not
only do not pay but they want me to lose money. I am disgusted with all that.
Edwin Baer cannot come and is represented by Hans-Peter Tschupp. I am totally
alone.
May 7
Bulimia of misery.
May 8
Sad.
May 13
Chaplain with Baer represented by
Tschupp. No assistance.
May 16
Appointment with Alain Kartuzinsky
(a Senior Case Supervisor at Flag).
May 19
Going to Switzerland
June 20
Returned from Switzerland, low
morale, no future, no goal.
June 30
Ariane gave me $275 for Michael's
school.
July 1
Low morale. Slept.
July 2
Fax from Rhyner, entheta
(Scientologese meaning ugly, hostile), does not pay, low morale, slept.
July 3
Low morale, slept.
July 4
Low morale, no goal.
July 7
I am very sad, Cyril moved out, he
does not work, is lying, does not get up in the morning, he is not OK.
July 8
I am sad.
July 12
Sent faxes to Baer, Hans-Kaspar
Rhyner, Hans-Peter Tschupp (he was involved in arranging the "loans" Albert was
persuaded to make), and Jody Darling.
July 14
Chaplain for finance. Situation
deteriorates between Cyril and me, lots of unpaid bills, I am angry.
July 15
At the Fort Harrison (name of the
building that houses part of Flag--the FH), saw Kathy who wants to send me on
the Freewinds (Scientology cruise ship) for an OT Debug (action supposed to
resolve problems an "OT" has).
July 16
Fight with Cyril.
July 17
Suicidal, sick, no courage.
July 19
Phoned OSA about the loan
cycle--nothing.
July 22
Cyril does nothing. Saw Chaplain
and Director of IAS, got angry, ARCX (ARC broken meaning very upset).
July 28
KR (Knowledge
Report - Rapport pour l'éthique de scientologie) on Hans-Kaspar Rhyner. No money.
Ariane brought food, thankyou.
July 30
Prepared folder for a Comm-Ev
(Committee of Evidence, a kind of trial without jury) for Baer, Jody Darling and
Hans-Kaspar Rhyner.
July 31
Sad, no goal. Received a check from
Ariane for $275 for Michael's school.
August 4
Saw Alain (Kartuzinsky), Ingrid
(the "host" at Flag to whom public Scientologists can go and voice their
concerns), Sergio (Chaplain), E/O, for this money cycle, a lot of charge (charge
is Scientologese for mental trauma). I am tired, headache, toothache, sad.
August 5
Saw Alain, LRH Host,E/O, Sergio,
big discussion regarding money cycle. 48 hours for Darling, Rhyner and Baer to
come to Flag, not real.
August 6
Toothache, very painful, took
aspirin (Scientologists are not supposed to take drugs, even aspirin), no
courage.
August 7
Toothache, aspirin, my health is
getting worse.
August 8
Fax from Rhyner--nothing.
Toothache. Slept almost all day.
August 9
No money, sad, tired.
August 10
Slept, was very tired.
August 12
Alone, sad.
August 13
Alone, sad.
August 15
Cyril got up at 1pm.
August 17
I am very nervous, it's difficult
for me to confront, sad, tired, sick, toothache, aspirin.
August 18
Saw Jeanne D'Arc and Alain.
August 19
Sad.
August 20
Sad.
August 22
Fell asleep at Fort Harrison, saw
Jeanne D'Arc.
August 25
At Fort Harrison to get auditing.
August 26
At FH for auditing, money
problems with reg ("registrar"--a salesman selling auditing).
August 27
Auditing.
August 28
Auditing.
August 29
I remain sad in spite of
auditing, very, very tired.
August 30
Sad, crying, tired, the body is
suffering, I am scared of Ethics. I am in bad shape physically. Cyril does not
produce, selfish, interested only in music, films, computer, car.
August 31
I am suffering, tired, no
auditing. I protest to Jeanne D'Arc, no money.
September 1
Ariane brought $275 for
Michael's school, auditing.
September 2
Auditing.
September 3
Auditing, not fun.
September 4
Very big fight with Cyril, he
is lying, cheating, he hates his little brother, his sister, his friends and
probably his dad. An hour and a half of auditing for that today and I am sad, is
he my son?
September 5
Cyril called his mother to
return to Switzerland, yes.
September 6
Auditing.
September 11
Auditing, hard, pain in
joints. Chaplain cycle Rhyner--nothing.
September 12
Tired, sad, pain, depression.
September 13
Jeanne D'Arc came to my house
to do a "Nerve Assist" (Scientology action consisting of stroking the person's
torso and limbs, following the routes of the major nerves), later had a session
(auditing), hard, tired.
September 14
Four hours of session, hard,
no wins, by-passed-charge (mental trauma that has been stirred-up but not
relieved), what a mess. In the evening nerve assist from Jeanne D'Arc, cried.
September 15
Jeanne D'Arc nerve assist, no
auditing, sick, sad, tired.
September 16
Auditing, hard, long, sad,
disappointed.
September 19
Auditing, hard, tired.
September 21
I am angry, nothing is
happening on the finances.
September 23
A lot of sadness, a lot of
problems.
September 24
I cry, sad, nothing to eat,
fridge empty, Ariane brought $60 of food.
September 25
I write my O/Ws (overts and
withholds. An overt is a BAD action or omission and good and bad are defined by
Hubbard. A withhold is anything the person is withholding because he fears the
consequences of its being divulged. It can be an overt, or just something
embarassing. A common Scientology action is to "write O/Ws", IN FULL DETAIL, and
give them to the Ethics Officer and Case Supervisor, who take appropriate
actions).
September 26
Continue to write O/Ws,
strange, very tired.
September 27
Write O/Ws.
September 28
Write O/Ws, I am very sad.
October 2
Ariane and Alex helped me to
clean San Salvador (a house he had to sell because he could not pay the
mortgage. Cyril refused to help him clean it up).
October 7
Phone with Ruth Baer, she hung up
on me.
October 8
Auditing.
October 9
Cleaned San Salvador with Alex
and Ariane, a lot of work.
October 10
Auditing.
October 11
Sad, do not feel good, shitty
cycle, not fun. FH for 5 hours review, $3,600 (meaning he paid $3,600 for 5
hours auditing). Long communication with Jeanne D'Arc, this cycle is bothering
me.
October 14
Could not sleep, no auditing,
sad, depression, sick.
October 15
Auditing, long.
October 16
In morning, auditing, long,
afternoon FH, no more hours (his 5 hours are all used up).
October 19
Very tired, sick, pain to the
tips of my fingers.
October 20
Concerning Ariane, I will not do
what I have done to her, I will handle with a lot of ARC (Affinity, Reality and
Communication. When Albert and I divorced I was told by the Ethics Officer to
give Albert custody of Michael. Later Albert became more and more convinced that
I was bad for Michael and refused to allow me ANY contact with Michael for a
period of 7 months. When I called, Albert had someone else tell me on the phone
that I had to get permission from the Ethics Officer to see my son. This is the
practice called "disconnection" advocated by Scientology. My son was THREE years
old at the time).
October 21
I am tired and sick.
October 22
FH to see Jeanne D'Arc,
afternoon faxes to Jody, Rhyner, Baer, Pichon (another delinquent Scientology
debtor who did not repay over $41,000).
October 25
Interview with Jeanne D'Arc, I
was not nice with her, she was sad. Have decided to ask for a refund from IAS.
October 27
Contacted Alain and Jeanne D'Arc
to ask for a refund from IAS.
October 28
Contacted Ginger and Jeanne
D'Arc to ask for my refund from IAS.
October 31
D of P (an interview by the
Director of Processing [Processing is auditing], not happy, without purpose,
useless.
November 3
All this week sad, feverish,
pain, depression.
November 5
Sick, sad.
November 6
Fax from Rhyner who is very
angry with me. I cannot take any more, I screamed at Jeanne D'Arc and Marcus
(E.O.)
November 7
My health is bad, money,
nothing, treason all over. Fought with Jeanne D'Arc, is it a threat? Yes. She
has changed camp. I am in danger.
November 8
Sad week, not happy, stuck.
November 11
Met Valeska (my teenage
daughter who is staff in Clearwater), my dad, thought it was he who was calling
me (he thought Valeska was his father who had died when he was four). Ooh la la,
Valeska. Saw Alain, no product.
November 14-15
Cyril is always stopping,
very bad manager. Loide (a Scientologist) does not exchange, just asks for car,
bike, etc.
November 16
Moved from Calumet (another
house he had to sell) to Greenwood (small, one bedroom appartment), cried with
pain, dizzy, tired, oppression.
November 17
Baer proposes a repayment, I
sign the papers for that.
November 18
Baer does not send the money,
strange story. Rhyner nothing, Jody no comm (communication).
November 19
This morning I asked Cyril to
help me take the furniture upstairs, he refused.
November 22
Received 150,000 Swiss francs
from Baer, lost $40,000 and all the unhappiness.
November 30
Cyril came to the house to ask
for a new computer, I said "no", he left angry.
December 1
I am very tired, chest
constricted, I do not think I will finish the year.
December 2
Cyril went back to Switzerland
without saying goodbye. Received auditing in the evening, feeling faint, I do
not feel good at all.
December 3
This morning very faint if I
move too much, a lot of chest pain.
December 4
Sick.
December 5
This week sad, sick, anxious.
December 7
I am very anxious.
December 8
I will sign for San Salvador (to
sell it). Ariane and Stefan are moving the furniture out.
December 9 (last entry)
Not a lot of money
left on the account.
Testimony:
transcript of an interview with an Ex-$cientologist Larry Brennan interview, he exposes the corruption of the
"church" of $cientology (YouTube
- March 17, 2008)
