When I spotted the "Scientology BOOT CAMP FOR KATIE
!"
headline on a recent copy of Star
magazine , I knew I had to
investigate. I called in favors from an underground cartel of international
spies I associate with and demanded they secure a copy of the Scientology Boot Camp Handbook to share with my
readers. While they were only able to scan four pages of the handbook before
being ambushed by the SSSS (Secret Scientology Surveillance Squad), it's enough
to give us a glimpse inside the secretive compound where Katie Holmes and
countless others have been held. Below are the other scans in no particular
order:
Star magazine claims Scientology
Boot Camp consists of "grueling lie detector tests, 36-hour auditing sessions,
and constant surveillance", but the magazine never mentioned the entertaining
recreational activities participants enjoy during their stay. Despite the barbed
wire fences and forced interrogation, Scientology boot camp can be barrels of
fun. For more recreational activities, such as Wig-Making with John Travolta,
take a look here.
Okay, now I'm jealous. Scientology Boot Camp victims participants get to fly in vintage DC-8 Interstellar Space Planes ! Not only that, they'll sleep in a realistic-looking Mothership Dormitory. Hold me back, I'm this close to signing up!
Each handbook features a special introductory letter from Tom
Cruise welcoming PCs to clear their engrams and avoid SP influence during RPF
telepathic regeneration ORC assignments. Medium: Digital
collage. Created in collaboration with Candy
Kirby. Letter from Tom Cruise written by Candy.
